| Round Two
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| The Beating: |
The Barnburner:
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The "Upset":
| (12) Dick Martin | defeats (4) Adlai Stevenson The Black Eye on | the Face of Democracy: NONE! | Good Job, Voters! The MatchUp:
| Nipsey Russell | advances to face Betty White | |||||||||||||||||
Filling in the Blanks
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After some turbulence in Round One, Round Two went very much according to plan ... it did not, however, go according to Dan Quayle's plan. After hearing Quayle talk smack about how he had disposed of Radar in Round One, fellow competitor McLean Stevenson said, "Mr. Quayle, I knew Gary Burghoff; I worked with Gary Burghoff; Gary Burgoff was a friend of mine. Mr. Quayle, John Adams is no Gary Burghoff." Stevenson was right; Next to Adamas, Quayle turned out to be very small potatowse. The unbelievable winning streak of Bill Walton stops at one. Tell your kids about it ... they may never see it for themselves. Hannibal Hamlin was down by 30 in the second half with no hope left when the scam was exposed. How was Patty Duke so fresh in the second half when Hamlin's frontline was gasping for air? Illegal substitutions of identical cousins were being made throughout the game. It only proved what the college basketball scene has suspected for years; Duke cheats. Charles Nelson Reilly and Martin Van Buren were in a tight game early, tied at 18. CNR scored the next 19 points in a row, and Van Buren lost his composure. He will forever be known for his Panic of 1837. |
From the Press Secretary ...
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Boy, it was real rough under the basket ... and the refs didn't call any of it. But I will pardon my opponent for that ... I guess I owe him one. -- Richard Nixon Hannibal? Oh, ... that explains it. I thought I was filming a Lifetime Movie with Harry Hamlin. That's why I let my defenses down ... rahr! -- Patty Duke As VP, I had a lot of unpleasant experiences with people I considered impudent snobs and the unelected elite. But nothing could have prepared me for her. Wow. -- Spiro Agnew His Compromise of 1850 kept our nation from filling caskets. But if he wanted to make the Sweet Sixteen, he needed to Fillmore baskets. -- Nipsey Russell |